In 2014, I was about to undertake my second trip to complete the Everest Basecamp trek in Nepal.

Two weeks before departure, I began having premonitions of my own death. Yep, I said it. Sounds weird, right? It was.

Around 9:00 PM or so during these two weeks, after long days of serving clients at my fitness facility, I would be driving home, and within five minutes of the drive home, I would feel as if I was floating above the driver's seat. 

I was in a trance of thoughts about my upcoming death, how to prepare, what the world would be like without me, how would my loved ones grieve, etc. I wasn't afraid at all. In fact, it was a total out-of-body experience. 

As soon as I arrived home, I would effortlessly (not even intentionally) shift out of that state, leave the car, enter the house and just go on with my night. No fear, not even a second thought to what just happened. Back to the grind for a few more hours that night and then back at it early the next day. Business as usual. This continued every single day for two weeks. 

I told no one. Unafraid and unaware of what was to come and completely unattached to my own new intuitive knowings, I continued on… ignoring my inner guidance.

It wasn't until two days before my trip that I received an energy work session, as a client. As soon as the practitioner put her hands on me to begin the Reiki session, she said "I don't know what's going on, but the room is filled with your guides. Shoulder to shoulder, they are here with you". 

She described how it felt quiet. Ceremonial. YIKES. In that instant, all those premonitions I was experiencing but thinking nothing of made total sense. I WAS going to die.

Ultimately, I realized that whatever was going to happen was coming for me regardless, and I went to Nepal. Onward and upward, I marched on. 

Once I arrived, my love for the country made all worries melt away (as if they never existed). The day came that we were to take the small plane from the airport to the trail head in the mountains. That day, we were all packed up and ready to be picked up by our guide and be brought to the airport. He never came. After a phone call, he told us “tomorrow instead, tomorrow”. We rearranged our schedules and awaited the next day, due to unforeseen changes. The next day, we arrived at the airport and waited all day for the rain to stop so we could take our flight… it never did stop. With the Everest landing strip being one of the most dangerous in the world, rain isn’t an option so they canceled the flight. Again, we awaited our departure for the next day.

The next day, the rain delayed us BUT we got on the plane! Despite pleasantly reading my book during the flight and enjoying the views of the Himalayan mountains, I began to tremble out of nowhere. My entire body shook. A force took over my body and emotions. Out of absolutely nowhere, I had a significant spike in anxiety and told my traveling partner, “We need to get off this plane! We need to get off this plane right now! Something really bad is going to happen. We need to turn the plane around”. After he reassured me and redirected me, I tried to continue reading my book. I read the same line over and over, not being able to shake the impending doom I was feeling. Sure enough, within 45 seconds, the flight attendant came into the area we were sitting in and told us “There has been an emergency, we need to turn the plane around”. I immediately cried. I told my travel partner, “I will never get back on this plane. We were going down. I could feel it — what if we were all going to die?”

After departing the plane, and some distraction from the alarming event that night, we once again awaited our departure for the following morning. (Insert a big sigh, from future me, here!)

Clearly, I had multiple divine interventions delays and scary moments in the first few days that should have deterred me from getting on the small plane from Katmandu to the trailhead of Everest. However, I was so disconnected from my own guidance at that point, I didn't honor the signs.

The next day, we arrived again at the airport. This time, I was nervous. With a nervous bladder, I asked my friends if anyone needed to use the restroom, after making our way through security. They did not, so I told them I would meet them in the waiting area of the airport. I made my way through the crowd to the restroom. Everyone moved very fast in these hallways. Before I took the last corner to the restroom, I had a flash of intuitive vision (the first time this ever happened to me). I saw myself taking the corner and being hit by a large luggage cart being pushed by a man. Sure enough, an instant later, I collided with this exact luggage cart. I was thrown into the wall to my right. This hallway wall had hand railings along the length of the wall (which I didn't realize until later, had been the temporary storage site for a large piece of dirty broken glass.) The glass was ominously behind the railings. This is when I was lacerated by a piece of glass in the Nepal airport. 

This was the Universe's last-ditch effort. I hadn't listened to the many, many obvious signs.

The cut was so deep, so big—I didn't even know I was cut at first. 

I hadn't realized what happened until I lifted my pant leg and saw my own flesh on the floor, my mangled tissue, my two lower leg bones exposed to the world, and the blood gushing out. 

In this moment, I knew this was how I die. 

The awareness that my premonitions were real came crashing into me with pure panic. Six local men carried me to the "medical room." This room had almost nothing in it besides a bed for me to lay on. It was about the size of an oversized closet. I was without anyone I knew; the language barrier was too thick for me to be understood and it took twenty five minutes before they found my group. During that time, I was bleeding profusely, and they were filling the small space with Nepalese men and women who were praying for me. The look in their eyes told me they also thought I was going to die.

This is where I found meditation and my breath. 

Having limited exposure to these skills previously, I understood I needed to slow my breathing in order to save my blood and my life. And so I did.

Fast forward to my admission to the hospital for tourists.  

I experienced so much in such a brief time. There was deep wound cleaning with a strong water stream and what looked like metal forceps to pull my wound even further apart to assess the area (all without pain medication), loss of consciousness multiple times due to pain during assessments, difficult phone calls home about the situation and an unknown future, feeling the burden of needing to be strong for other's sake, and awaiting the news about my fate.

Would I be fine, would it be amputation, and would I ever walk again?

Emergency surgery with surgeons forgetting to be called, my surgeon being called off a plane from India and needing to wait 4 hours for his arrival, no pain meds other than the equivalent of Ibuprofen, no anesthesia, no visual blockers from the surgical scene, and just a local numbing to my leg. There I was. My nerves, muscles and circulatory system being repaired as I listened to the surgical team discuss how significant the wound trauma was.

All I had was the "healing and protection stone" that my Reiki professional had handed me and told me to keep on my body every moment I was away for this trip, my breath, and my grace.

I had my first panic attacks in the next few days and I suffered a major infection. I will never forget the look of shock on the Doctor’s face when she unraveled my dressings to check my wound and saw how infected it had become. My heart rate was sky high as she asked me how I had been feeling. I had been feverish and nauseous all morning … a sure sign I was brewing a systemic infection. This was a reality I hadn’t wanted to accept, given my circumstances, distance from home, and lack of medical supplies available. However, I was given rounds of intense antibiotics to save my life. These medications were so strong, and I was so compromised that the whole room would turn green within minutes of the IV being placed in my arm. 

For hours I would be inconsolably unwell and nauseous.

One agonizing week later, my stroke risk had dropped, and I was given clearance to fly back to the USA. I was given a large needle filled with an anti-coagulant to shoot myself with on the plane so I wouldn't have a stroke or throw a clot on the 24-hour plane ride home. I feared death even on this flight, as I kept passing out. Sleep would have been welcome, but instead, it felt as if I kept slipping away without control. I was so grateful to have landed and still be alive.

I was told I may never walk again and that only time would tell. 

All in all, things were grim, but I kept my head high. This is where my life, and my career, really began. 

Bedridden and completely dependent on my partner at the time and very unwell, I began to heal. It took me two months to be able to move just a single toe again. After that, I had to re-learn how to walk. That meant I had to re-wire the pattern like an infant. At first, I learned how to roll. This alone, took me weeks.

Talk about a humbling experience. I was a life-long decorated athlete who had just been in the best shape of her life and I had to re-learn how to roll over.

Rolling to my right took me weeks to get while rolling to my left was no problem. But once I rolled, I crawled. Once I crawled, I walked. The weeks went on. The health issues went on too, especially digestively (more on that later), despite that the function of movement was re-appearing.

One evening in bed, a few months later, I laid there staring at the ceiling. I had my leg propped up because my drainage was so poor that if I let my leg settle below my heart, it would be purple and leopard print from hip to toe within seconds. 

I had never prayed in my life but I prayed. I wasn't sure who I was speaking to, but I simply said, "I don't need to know why; I just need to know what to do next".  

That was it. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to a man's voice loudly and clearly telling me I had to "Move to New Hampshire and go to massage school." I popped my eyes open to find my partner at the time, still sleeping. I urgently woke him, asking him to repeat what he just said. He had been fast asleep and completely confused. I knew. This time, I wouldn't miss the calling. 

In two weeks' time, still hardly walking, we packed our entire house up. In one more week's time, we found the most incredible little house to rent. In just a few more weeks, our home was rented out to a family willing to cover the full mortgage. It fell into our lap, as I now know it always does when you listen within. Things were falling into place despite that the plan seemed outrageous and was a huge leap of faith.

I was healing my body, re-learning how to walk, running my business from afar, and in massage school. Phew.

In massage school, I began to experience the depths of my intuitive gifts.

When working on clients, I began to hear, see, feel and know things I couldn't have possibly known. And yet, it felt like I had rubber tips on my fingers—unable to feel anything physical that a massage therapist "should" feel (the knots, the tightness, etc, all my classmates felt). I only felt my client's emotions, their energy, their spirit team. 

I began to share these knowings quietly with my clients, which elicited incredibly powerful healing moments to unfold. Eventually, I found the courage to tell two of my teachers what I was experiencing. One teacher told me, "You need to learn how to turn that off". This played well into my history of hustling without aligning and staying anchored to healing the physical body only. I was damn good at the physical body, but this time, it escaped me. The other told me, "How wonderful. Let's figure out how to tune into whatever you need, at that moment. Let's nurture both." This was scary but felt so much more aligned to the undeniable and fierce energy that was pulling me towards it—one I could no longer deny. 

Three years of life passed. In that time, unimaginable magic unfolded with my intuitive gifts development and more. But, my life as I knew it also died. 

This was the death I had been preparing for. The accident had only been the catalyst. 

My home, my partner of 13 years, my dog, my friends, my family, my identity, my business, and so much more were all stripped from me in a very short span of time. 

My health, which had been barely holding on since the accident, was completely dismantled. The lingering impacts of the massive infection, the bomb of antibiotics, the serious compromise to my lymphatic system from the wound, on top of a lifetime of over-working and under-resting, and so much more, made it so I couldn't hold on anymore. In addition, the emotional trainwreck of my life transition took hold of me and shook me, what felt like almost to the grave.

I searched endlessly for healing and answers to my intense health symptoms, physical illnesses (the list was endless), chronic pain, grief, etc. I saw every specialist, I had every lab run, and I tried many holistic healers. All meanwhile, I was helping hundreds of others heal their bodies, but I couldn’t find my own way out of the hole I was in. I felt like I had been destructed by a tsunami.

I was so deep into it, so defeated, and saw no light at the end of the tunnel. 

After years of being ill and it impacting my ability to function every day, I finally found the light within myself. I was told by an infectious disease doctor that "Perhaps it was time to begin focusing on something other than your health. There is nothing wrong with you". After the complete shock, asking him to repeat what he meant, I understood that he thought "it was all in my head." My intense digestive issues, my brain fog, my chronic pain, my debilitating fatigue, and so much more. 

I left angry. And with a new fire inside.

Flashforward to my rebirth. The becoming of who I truly am. The path that led me to really understand how to help you in your becoming, too.

I took myself fully on as a client. I stopped looking outside of myself and used the wisdom within, which for years I had applied lovingly to other's health. I was relentless in my pursuit to heal. 

I knew it was MY RESPONSIBILITY, to heal. I knew that no one could do it for me, even though I aligned myself with the right holistic healers. I also knew I had to get honest, get raw, and surrender to this new season of life.

I had chronic inflammation, major memory issues, brain fog, terrible digestive distress, chronic fatigue, sleep issues, fluid retention, a host of emotional garbage (that daily made me wonder if I had a serious disorder), and so much more to navigate. Meanwhile, in the early days, I navigated it alone, afraid to give myself the compassion I needed while running a successful business helping others heal. (Oh, the irony). It felt like such a burden to be unwell while I was trying to build an empire. I blamed the accident and the cherry-on-top deep grief from major life changes.

Despite looking "well" on the outside, I was trying to save my own life each day. Day by day, hour by hour, I clawed my way out of the hole using my expertise and new skills I devoured on the path.

Turns out, the healing experience is exactly what I needed for my empire to come to full creation.

On my path, I found healers to support me along the way and did an even deeper dive into true root cause resolution medicine. What I found out was that the accident didn’t break me, it was just “the straw that broke the camel’s back” (like most of us when we stop feeling well). I had a host of issues from the accident, but over time realized that I had always been on the path to illness. I over-worked, under supported myself, lacked self love/compassion, abandoned soulful changes I needed to make because comfort blinded me, and negatively thought myself away from health because my nervous system was constantly so dysregulated from the “fight or flight response”. On paper, I was “well” and did all the things to be well. I had the career, I built the business, I had the relationship, I worked out, I ate well 100% of the time, and more. Looking back, the truth was, I was blindly sick even before the accident with chronic neck pain, exhaustion, irritability and more. I blindly continued on through years of killing myself slowly and filling my bucket up until it was bound to self destruct. The accident didn’t break me, it showed me how much healing I had to do long before the laceration. The path also informed me that I had chronic infections (hidden parasites, mostly), toxicities and other root causes stressors even before the accident infection. My body was a bucket (as each of us are). I had filled my bucket all the way up and it was overflowing, trying to plug the cracks along the way. I was blind to the real devastation I was doing by overworking, stressing, abandoning my intuition and more, because on paper “I was healthy” and helping so many others. My body had many root cause issues going on to begin with (as most of us do, living on planet Earth), and then when hit with the next major challenge —- I wasn’t strong enough to resolve the infections or gut challenges from the Nepal accident. I ended up with lingering chronic mixed-infections that took my body down year by year. I ended up with my symptoms and “mystery illness”. All because I had too many root causes built up over time and the inability to heal and adapt when Nepal happened. Now I know, with every bone in my body, root cause resolution health care is critical to be well and adapt to life with resilience, vitality and joy.

With that said, it was uncomfortable at times. I had tantrums as I healed. I would feel better, only to have a flare and fall back down before I really hit the ground running with the right approaches. I got up again, and again, and again. 

Healing is not linear, and it takes some serious support from yourself, from others, trust for the process, and re-evaluation.

But every single technique I applied worked if I was resilient and consistent. It all taught me something and provided me healing. Between Nutrition Response Muscle Testing, energy work, mindfulness, meditation, cold laser therapy, herbs, whole food and carbon technology supplements, chiropractic care, and more, I restored my body. I restored my life. And I learned SO much more on top of what I already knew.

Here I am. Happy, whole, and a completely different version of myself. 

I lead a completely different life, internally and externally. Still working within my own journey but completely in awe of the process and progress. Completely inspired by all of the signs, synchronicities, and understandings along the way that the path was leading me to the "pot of gold"; the path that answered the intentions I had consistently set about my own joy/wholeness and my 14-year-old career dream. 

Wow, did it look different than I thought it would have! I had a full-blown awakening, which aligned me to everyone and everything I needed to really step into my power.

In this journey, I fine-tuned my skills as a practitioner in the pursuit of my own health and life restoration. I learned what it really feels like to be in the "ick" of the non-linear path of deep healing. I learned that each step is important, and will likely unfold in ways that you don't expect, and that's okay. 

I learned that reliance on only physical/body-based health practices will leave many stuck and confused. We are so much more than a body—and true health won't shine for many of us until we embrace that fully. 

I learned how important getting real about your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and energy is. I learned so much about how to support a body with root-cause resolution. I learned that I was a great practitioner previously, and now that I am aligned, I can humbly own that I am an excellent one. 

In fact, I learned what it takes to be "SoulFit"; to function as a whole, well being. I truly embodied what transformation feels like, for mind, body, and spirit. And I want the same for you, but with much greater ease, support, and efficiency.  

I am here, in the arena, as a gladiator helping others lovingly identify and shift their shadows, old ways of being, and root cause challenges—with them. I am helping others change their lifestyle both in their external and internal world to better reflect a life of wholeness. 

Some of my clients shift quickly with smaller programs, some need transformations. And that's okay. Healing takes time. The process works. And staying in it, appreciating the steps along the way… that IS the work.

That IS the journey. 

The health restores and the evolution comes. The magic unfolds by embracing every opportunity that the human experience of life and health offers us as a teacher.

I was placed on this Earth for many reasons, but one of my greatest purposes is to lead others in transforming their world like I did. By owning their garbage, nourishing their entire being, removing root cause stressors, allowing their gifts and truths to lead the way, and step into responsibility for their own health.